😈The One-Eyed Menace: Who (or What) is Dajjal, and Why is He the Ultimate Islamic Supervillain?...

By: Abdullah al-Satire | Chief Apocalyptic Analyst, Department of Messianic Mayhem

Move over Voldemort. Sit down, Thanos. Kindly unplug, Skynet. Because when it comes to end-of-the-world bosses, Islam has its very own final boss battle — Ad-Dajjal. The Antichrist of Islam, Dajjal is the fire-breathing, one-eyed, chaos-incarnating, global gaslighter that scholars, imams, and WhatsApp forwards have been warning Muslims about for 1400 years.

He’s not just a villain.

He’s the villain.

The OG liar. The master deceiver. The messiah impersonator.

He doesn’t just troll — he declares himself God… and people believe him.

Yes. People. Believe. Him.

Welcome to the End Times.

Part I: Who is Dajjal?

In Arabic, “Dajjal” comes from the word dajl, meaning to deceive, to lie, to cover the truth. He is commonly referred to as Al-Masih ad-Dajjal — “The False Messiah.”

He’s the Islamic equivalent of the Antichrist, but unlike vague western lore, Islamic sources describe him in weirdly specific detail, including:

  • One eye — bulging like a grape

  • The word “KAFIR” (disbeliever) written on his forehead

  • Rides a donkey that spans the earth in strides (airplane? missile? Elon Musk’s new startup?)

  • Claims to be God

  • Performs miracles — like raising the dead (or maybe just faking it with CGI)

  • And deceives millions — yes, including Muslims

Think of him as a charismatic cult leader + social media influencer + dystopian warlord, all in one dangerous package.

Part II: Where Will He Come From?

According to hadiths, Dajjal will emerge from the East, most likely Khorasan, a historical region that today spans parts of Iran, Afghanistan, and Central Asia.

He’ll appear after a period of immense global chaos, natural disasters, and political breakdown. (So, basically, next Tuesday.)

He won’t just be a random madman in the desert. He’ll come with:

  • Advanced technology or sorcery

  • A huge following, including the easily impressed and spiritually shallow

  • False heaven and hell — he can appear to punish or reward

  • Google Translate for Evil — he speaks everyone's language and still gaslights them

Part III: What Will He Do?

Dajjal’s mission is simple: 

Deceive the world. 

Pretend to be divine. 

Rule it.

His tool? Lies, illusions, and magic tricks that make David Copperfield look like a kindergarten magician.

He’ll:

  • Claim to be a prophet

  • Then claim to be God

  • Travel the world in days (thank you, global transport)

  • Bring false rain and crops (eco-illusionist!)

  • And ultimately... demand worship

Those who resist? Persecuted. Executed. Memed as conspiracy theorists.

Those who follow? Doomed, but probably trending.

Part IV: Who Will Defeat Him?

Enter the real Messiah: Isa ibn Maryam — aka Jesus.

Yes, Jesus in Islam isn’t dead. He’s chilling in the heavens, waiting for the bell. When Dajjal’s tyranny peaks, Jesus will descend — not in a press conference or music video — but on the white minaret of Damascus, wearing two yellow robes, his hands resting on the wings of two angels.

He’ll pray behind the Mahdi (yes, that Mahdi), then personally go after Dajjal and — spoiler alert — stab him to death with a lance near Lod, in modern-day Israel.

It’s the ultimate showdown:

False messiah vs. True messiah.

Miracle vs. Truth.

Deceiver vs. Divine.

Pay-per-view Heaven Edition.

Part V: The Signs Before Dajjal

Want to know if Dajjal is nearby? Here's the End Times Bingo card:

✅ Massive earthquakes
✅ Famine, droughts
✅ Moral decay and widespread ignorance
✅ Corrupt leaders everywhere (don’t even start)
✅ Muslims divided
✅ Wealth inequality
✅ People following influencers more than prophets
✅ Weird beasts, smoke, sun rising from the West
✅ A talking beast from Earth (AI or Alexa?)
✅ Massive war in the Middle East

And finally… boom. Dajjal.

Part VI: Modern-Day Dajjal Memes and Theories

Dajjal isn't just theology. He’s meme culture gold.

  • Some say Dajjal is already here, running a bank.

  • Others think it’s AI, the metaverse, or your phone.

  • Some claim he’s the UN Secretary-General, while others swear he’s Zionist Hollywood, or worse — a YouTuber with 10M followers who doesn’t blink.

In Pakistan, every year someone claims to have “seen Dajjal in a cave” near Murree.

In WhatsApp forwards, Dajjal has been everything from the internet, the barcode, to COVID-19 QR codes.

One Iranian cleric even blamed Barbie dolls for softening society for Dajjal’s moral takeover.

Part VII: Dajjal as Metaphor?

Some modern thinkers ask: What if Dajjal isn’t a person, but a system?

A world order of:

  • Lies dressed as truth

  • Freedom that’s slavery

  • Surveillance disguised as security

  • Fame without merit

  • And God replaced with algorithms and ego

Could Dajjal be:

  • A global disinformation empire?

  • An economic machine that turns people into commodities?

  • A spiritual vacuum hidden inside a technological utopia?

In that case... maybe Dajjal is already winning.

Final Thoughts: Dajjal – The Devil Wears Deception

Whether you take him literally or metaphorically, Dajjal represents everything false that looks true. He is ultimate fitna (trial). The final exam in the school of human history.

He’ll test:

  • Your faith

  • Your perception

  • Your loyalty

  • And your ability to tell the difference between Instagram reels and reality

So when he comes — and he will — he won’t knock. He’ll trend.

He’ll go viral. He’ll be followed. He’ll be loved. And that’s the problem.

Until then, remember the Prophet’s warning:

"If you hear that Dajjal has come — run. Don’t go see him. Even the most devout may fall under his spell."

Because this guy isn’t just lying.

He is the lie.

Next Week’s Column: 

“Gog and Magog: Are They Just Vikings, or Is Russia Already On the Map?”

Stay paranoid.

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