Posts

👀 Rapture-Pilled Realpolitik: How Evangelical Prophecy Got a Say in American Foreign Policy...

When John Hagee met John Bolton inside Donald Trump's brain, the Middle East exploded. Literally. By our count, this war began with drones, but the real payload might’ve been spiritual. As Iranian missile sites smolder and Trump tweets “GOD CHOSE ME,” a less-reported fuel behind this fire is finally getting the light it deserves: apocalyptic Christian prophecy.  What if American foreign policy didn’t just emerge from CIA war rooms, defense contractor lobbyists, or Twitter—but from the pages of Revelation, as interpreted by pastors with large followings and even larger private jets? Welcome to the WTF world of prophetic geopolitics —where policy papers meet Rapture literature, and Iran might be nuked not to contain uranium but to fulfill a 19th-century Anglo-Irish priest’s nightmare vision of the end times. Prophets, Not Policy Wonks If you’re wondering what Bible verses have to do with cruise missiles, you’re already behind. For millions of evangelical Americans—and many of Trump’s...

🧠Jesus Needs You to Flatten Gaza: The WTF Theology of Christian Zionism...

Jesus Was a Brown Jew. Christian Zionists Prefer Him White and Armed!  WTF? (Weird, True & Freaky) Christian Zionism   is a bizarre cocktail of politics, prophecy, and selective scripture reading—where ancient scrolls get weaponized into modern real estate claims. It’s less “Jesus loves you” and more “Jesus needs you to bulldoze a Palestinian village so he can land on the Mount of Olives.” 1. What is Christian Zionism? Christian Zionism is the belief that the Jewish people have a divine right to the land of Israel, and that Christians must support the Jewish state unconditionally—politically, financially, and militarily—because it’s God’s will. It is a political and theological movement among some Christians—especially Evangelical Protestants—that supports the modern state of Israel based on their interpretation of the Bible. At its core, Christian Zionism teaches that: The return of Jews to the Holy Land is a fulfillment of biblical prophecy. The establishment of the ...

🕍Mossad and Moses Walk Into Persia...

  👁️‍🗨️ WTF: Weird, True & Freaky — Not Profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs Start Tweeting It. Presented by WTF Intelligence: Where Faith Meets Firepower, and Drones Quote the Torah. How Israel's War With Iran Became a Bible Sequel, an Airstrike Ballet, and a Diplomatic WTF There are wars. Then there are  WTF Wars . And then there's  Israel vs. Iran 2025  — the geopolitical remix of  Book of Numbers  featuring F-35s, cyber ops, biblical foreshadowing, and a cast of 12 spies... except this time, they didn’t just scout the land — they  flattened it . If you thought Moses splitting the Red Sea was nuts, wait till you see what Iron Dome did to the Ayatollah’s secret uranium enrichment bunker in Qom. This isn’t just warfare — this is spiritual theatre wrapped in AI targeting software. So, what’s going on here? Let’s start with the Torah. No, seriously. Don’t close the tab. This matters. A Short Guide to the Biblical Parallel That’s Not So Metaphorical An...

😈The One-Eyed Menace: Who (or What) is Dajjal, and Why is He the Ultimate Islamic Supervillain?...

By: Abdullah al-Satire | Chief Apocalyptic Analyst, Department of Messianic Mayhem Move over Voldemort. Sit down, Thanos. Kindly unplug, Skynet. Because when it comes to end-of-the-world bosses , Islam has its very own final boss battle — Ad-Dajjal . The Antichrist of Islam , Dajjal is the fire-breathing, one-eyed, chaos-incarnating, global gaslighter that scholars, imams, and WhatsApp forwards have been warning Muslims about for 1400 years. He’s not just a villain. He’s the villain. The OG liar. The master deceiver. The messiah impersonator. He doesn’t just troll — he declares himself God … and people believe him. Yes. People. Believe. Him. Welcome to the End Times. Part I: Who is Dajjal? In Arabic, “Dajjal” comes from the word dajl , meaning to deceive, to lie, to cover the truth . He is commonly referred to as Al-Masih ad-Dajjal — “The False Messiah.” He’s the Islamic equivalent of the Antichrist , but unlike vague western lore, Islamic sources describe him in weirdly s...

🕌The Messiah, the Myth, and the Missing Imam: The Long-Awaited Arrival of Islam’s Ultimate Plot Twist – The Mahdi!...

By: Abdullah al-Satire, Chief Correspondent, Department of WTF Eschatology The End is Near… or Is It Just Stuck in Traffic? In every religion, there's always That Guy. The One. The Promised. The myth-shrouded messiah who shows up just before the world goes full apocalypse. In Christianity, he’s Jesus on a comeback tour. In Hinduism, it’s Kalki, descending on a white horse with a flaming sword. In Buddhism, it’s Maitreya, the future Buddha chillin’ in cosmic prep school. And in Islam, we get… The Mahdi — part savior, part mystery man, and full-time reason for every WhatsApp forward during a pandemic. But who is this elusive Mahdi? When is he coming? Is he already here? Is he on X (formerly Twitter)? Did he ghost everyone in the 9th century? Or is he just waiting for 5G coverage to improve? Grab your turbans and telescopes, folks. We’re diving deep into one of Islam’s most debated, awaited, and memed concepts: The Coming of Allah’s Guidance — aka Mahdi: The Deluxe End-of-Times ...

🕉️ WTF History Special: The God Had a Muslim Girlfriend?...

How South India’s Deities Were More Interfaith Than Most WhatsApp Groups By our slightly confused, biryani-eating, Vavar-dancing religion correspondent Welcome to the Deccan, where Shiva rode in on a horse named Khan, Draupadi hired a Muslim bodyguard, and Ayyappa wouldn’t let you up the mountain without first checking in with his best friend Vavar — who just happened to run a mosque. Yes, dear reader, before “love jihad” debates and TV news anchors discovered the miraculous power of shouting, religion in South India was a rich masala of holy entanglements. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Did Lord Vishnu marry a Muslim princess?” or “Did Shiva go to Mecca?” then the answer — and this may surprise you — is an enthusiastic, coconut-smashing yes . Let us dive deep into this cosmic buffet of cross-religious camaraderie, a place where mythologies mingled more freely than modern dinner guests at a secular shaadi. Chapter 1: Welcome to Sabarimala – Where Allah and Ayyappa Trek Together ...